What 37 Years of Leadership Have Taught Me About Choosing What Matters Most

One of the most significant leadership lessons I've learned didn't come from reading a book or attending a conference. It came from saying "yes" to an opportunity that, looking back, I should have declined.

At the time, I didn't make the decision simply because I didn't want to let someone down.

On reflection, I can see I was drawn by the promise of providing for my family, building something significant, being my own boss and making money. Those motives felt compelling at the time, but the decision ended badly.

I realise I was making choices based on the wrong things.

This experience forced me to ask a deeper question:

What values do I actually want to lead from?

Until then, I don't think I had ever consciously defined them.

Over the years, I've become convinced that values are far more than words on a website or a list in a notebook. They become a filter for our decisions. They help us recognise that not every good opportunity is the right opportunity.

Jesus modelled this beautifully.

Although surrounded by endless needs, He remained focused on the mission His Father had given Him. He didn't heal every person in Israel or respond to every request. His decisions flowed from purpose rather than pressure (Mark 1:35–38).

Greg McKeown writes in Essentialism,

"If you don't prioritise your life, someone else will."

I've found this to be true. If we don't establish our values, the expectations of others can quietly become the values that shape our calendar.

Does this align with my values and the kind of leader I believe God is calling me to become?

This question hasn't removed difficult decisions, but it has brought much greater clarity.

What decision are you facing today that needs to be guided by your values rather than your emotions?