One of the lessons I've learned over 37 years of leadership is that not every good opportunity is the right opportunity.

I learned it the hard way too.

There was a time when I said yes to an opportunity which, looking back, I probably should have said no to.

The opportunity itself wasn't necessarily the problem.

My reasons for saying yes were.

I didn't want to let people down. I didn't want to miss out. And if I'm honest, I wasn't clear enough about the values I wanted to lead from.

So I adapted.

I found myself accepting behaviours and expectations that weren't really consistent with who I wanted to become.

The experience changed the way I think about leadership.

We often start with: What do I want to achieve?

What's the goal? What's the next opportunity? What's the next step?

But I've learned to start somewhere else: Who do I want to become?

It's one of the ideas behind my Design Your Tomorrow course.

Before we think about what we're going to do, we need to think about who we're becoming.

And once we're clearer about that, our values become incredibly important.

Lead from your values

I've come to believe that we shouldn't simply lead towards our goals. Instead, we should lead from our values towards our goals.

Goals tell us where we're going.

Values help determine how we're going to get there and who we're becoming along the way.

However, there is a danger here.

It's very easy to create a list of values.

Integrity.
Family.
Growth.
Leadership.
Faith.
People.

Whatever they are for you.

The harder question is: Do I actually live from them?

This is why I shared a simple exercise this week.

Take one value that you say is important to you.

Then ask three questions:

HEAD ~ Do I believe it?

Do I genuinely believe this value matters?

HEART ~ Do I care about it?

Does it actually matter to me at the core of who I am?

HANDS ~ Do I live it?

Does the way I spend my time, make decisions and treat people demonstrate it?

If something is supposedly one of your values, but it never affects your behaviour, you need to ask:

Is it really one of my values?

This is where values become more than words and become a leadership filter.

When an opportunity comes along, you can ask: Does this fit who I'm becoming?

When you need to make a difficult decision: What do my values say?

When you are tempted to say yes because you don't want to disappoint someone: Am I saying yes because it's right or because I'm afraid to say no?

Getting clearer about your values doesn't mean you will stop making mistakes.

But it can help you make better YESes. And much better NOs.

Design your tomorrow

We can't control everything that happens to us. But we can become more intentional about the person we're becoming and the way we're going to lead.

This is why I created Design Your Tomorrow around three simple ideas:

Think WHO before DO.

Lead FROM your values.

Create BOUNDARIES to work within.

They are simple ideas which require us to be intentional, and this is increasingly what I believe leadership development should do.

Not simply give us more information.

It should help us become different people who lead differently.

This is also part of what I'm working towards with the Lead You Collective for 2027.

A place where leaders can do some of this deeper work together.

Not just learn about leadership.

Reflect. Question. Practice. Grow.

To become the kind of leaders other people want to follow.

Reflection:

So, here's the question I'd encourage you to sit with this week:

If someone looked only at your diary, your decisions and the way you treat people, what would they say you value most?

Then ask yourself:

Does that match the person I want to become?

That's where designing your tomorrow begins.